Showing posts with label Family Law. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Law. Show all posts

Thursday, May 6, 2021


 

Mother's Day


Janice L. Mathis janicelmathis@ncnw.org

5/6/21 8:55 PM

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As sometimes happens when the two of us engage in casual conversation, we indulge in the sweet treat of reminiscing about Mary Frances Lewis Betsch and Kittie Mae Avery Mathis, the women who “raised us up.”  Like most Black mothers, they were prone to certain common sense “sayings”. Mary Frances Lewis Betsch was known to remark to teen-aged Johnnetta Betsch Cole, “a woman is known by the company she keeps.”  And Kittie Mae Avery Mathis would quip, “if you act as well as you look you will be alright.”  These admonitions were administered to us with a sprinkling of irony and wry humor. 

 

No doubt, if you are a Black woman, you have heard or used these or similar sayings yourself because they are deeply rooted in African tradition.  The poet Maya Angelou described them as “mother wit”, the “collective wisdom of generations.”  The first African women who came to these shores 402 years ago brought with them a treasure trove of common sense that has been a source of strength and endurance in our quest to survive as a people.   

 

Now you must understand that “mother wit” is practiced by mothers, but also by grandmothers, aunts, cousins and ”play mamas” whether they have birthed children or simply and lovingly cared for them.  Today, we think about not just our own mothers but mothers across space and time who have an irrepressible commitment to taking care of their children, other folk's children, partners and husbands, if they have one. And then there is all that other business we take care of that has to do with earning a living and calling for and working in the interest of the rights of our people – indeed of all people.

 

What we think of today as Black Girl Magic is not really magic at all, but is the stored up wisdom of hundreds of years of experience and common sense distilled from determination, love and toil and sacrifice and devotion.  Our fondest desire is that every little girl and boy and every grownup person would have their own generous portion of “mother wit.” There is an African proverb that says this: "A mother is like a kernel, crushed by problems but strong enough to overcome them." Today, and throughout the year, we salute the mothers and all of the women in NCNW, in our communities, in our nation and our world who have the tenacity, the wisdom, and the faith not to be crushed by problems, but to overcome them.

 

Johnnetta Betsch Cole, Ph.D., President and National Chair

 and

Janice L. Mathis, Esq. Executive Director

The National Council of Negro Women, Inc.

633 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20004

Office:  (202) 737-0120 Direct:  (202) 383-9155

Cell:     (404) 394-1500

Monday, September 8, 2008

Social Security Benefits for Minor Children

Children are entitled to Social Security benefits based on the earnings of their parent in a variety of situations. If a parent dies, minor children are generally entitled to receive a monthly payment until they reach the age of 18. The amount of the payment is determined by the earnings record of the deceased parent. Children of parents who become disabled are entitled to benefits, which may either be Social Security or SSI benefits if the parents are low-income. In some instances the parent may die without having established paternity and the obligation to pay support. Even under these circumstances, Social Security benefits may be obtained. If the deceased parent lived with, provided support for, or was under an order to support the child, benefits may be established. With the cooperation of the deceased parents' family, modern paternity testing can even establish paternity by testing a 1st degree relative (such as sibling or parent) and the child. It is worthwhile to note that signing the birth certificate is not sufficient to establish paternity.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Get Out - Seek Shelter

If you are being abused it is important that you get away from the scene of the abuse. Not long ago a woman called me. She wanted to sue a local police department for the death of her sister. who had been in a violent relationship and sought a protective order from the court. Shortly after the police came out to investigate a fight between the abuser and the abused woman. Instead of arresting him on the protective order as they should have done, they gave him a "talking to" and told him to stay away from the woman. The following day, she received a call that the abuser was at the hospital and needed a ride home. The last time she was seen alive was on the hospital videotape. Later that night she was found dead near the home of her abuser's sister. This will be a very difficult wrongful death case to make against the police because in the final analysis, the woman put herself in danger.

People who abuse are most likely to inflict deadly violence when they know you plan to leave. Once you make the decision to leave, get to a shelter and stay out of the path of the abuser. If you need to escape domestic violence, seek shelter. Your whereabouts will be kept confidential. Metro Atlanta area shelters include the ones listed below.

Athens
Project Safe, Inc.
Crisis Line: (706) 543-3331

Atlanta
Partnership Against Domestic Violence,
Inc.
Crisis Line: (404) 873-1766

Carrollton
Carroll County Emergency Shelter, Inc.
Crisis Line: (770) 834-1141

Clayton
Fight Abuse in the Home (FAITH), Inc.
Crisis Line: (888) 782-1338

Columbus
Columbus Alliance for Battered Women, Inc.
Crisis Line: (706) 571-0188

Conyers
Project Renewal Domestic Violence
Intervention Program, Inc.
Crisis Line: (770) 860-1666

Decatur
International Women's House, Inc.
Crisis Line: (404) 299-1550

Decatur
Women's Resource Center to End
Domestic Violence, Inc. (Women Moving On)
Crisis Line: (404) 688-9436

Douglasville
S.H.A.R.E. House, Inc.
Crisis Line: (770) 489-7513

Gainesville
Gateway House, Inc.
Crisis Line: (770) 536-5860

Lawrenceville
Partnership Against Domestic Violence,Inc.
Crisis Line: (770) 963-9799

Macon
Macon Salvation Army Safe House
Crisis Line: (478) 738-9800

Marietta
YWCA of Northwest Georgia
Crisis Line: (770) 427-3390

McDonough
Flint Circuit Council on Family
Violence, Inc. (Haven House)
Crisis Line: (770) 954-9229

Morrow
Association on Battered Women of
Clayton County, Inc. (Securus House)
Crisis Line: (770) 961-7233

Warner Robins
Warner Robins Salvation Army
Crisis Line: (478) 923-6294

Winder
Peace Place, Inc.
Crisis Line: (770) 586-0927

For a more shelters in Georgia for survivors of domestic violence, visit

http://www.gadfcs.org/familyviolence/startdocs/service_area_map.pdf

or

http://www.gcadv.org/pdf/DHR_Shelters.pdf

Monday, March 17, 2008

Crisis Pregnancy

If you are experiencing a crisis pregnancy, seek help. Get pre-natal care. If your pregnancy is the result of a rape, remember that rape is not your fault. Get counseling by calling a Rape Crisis line. Consider adoption. Through our work with WVEE, we have learned of lots of loving parents who would like to adopt. In Georgia, you may give your child up for adoption at any hospital or law enforcement agency, if the child is less than 7 days old. After seven days, contact the Department of Family and Children Services.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Mentors for Children

On Monday, the 19th of November, on WVEE’s Porsche Foxx show, Sisters in Law™ discussed children and the law. One caller indicated that she was considering referring her 13 year old son to Juvenile Court for "unruliness." He refused to obey, was insolent, not doing his best in school. Davida and I both cautioned against this move, except perhaps as a last resort. A black female police officer called in to echo our advice. Reporting your child to the court system engages the entire family in the court process, disrupts family relationships and may subject your child to unwanted and unwarranted intrusion for months or years.

What to do then? Contact your church, enroll your child in sports, music or art classes. If you are not going to church, start. Church provides a basic framework to help children understand the difference between right and wrong. Making that distinction on their own avoids the need to have the courts do it for them.

Ask male family members for support. Increase the amount of visitation you permit the child’s father. Consider sending your errant son/daughter to live with his/her father for awhile, if that is feasible. Children act out as one way of expressing the need for more attention. It was not surprising that the vast majority of our recent calls came from families with four or more children.

What is the child interested in? Find a structured program that speaks to that interest. There are lots of mentoring programs offered in Metro Atlanta. Some of the best Metro Atlanta mentoring programs are listed below.

100 Black Men of DeKalb County
1804 Bouldercrest Road, SE • Suite 700 • Atlanta, GA 30316 Phone: 404.288.2772 Fax: 404.288.0107 Email: info@dekalb100blackmen.orgExecutive Director/COO • Mae Jones • mailto:mjones@dekalb100blackmen.org

Hank Stewart Foundation
http://www.thestewartfoundation.com/contactus.html
(404) 328-0095

Frank Ski Kids Foundation
http://www.frankskikids.org/contact/
217-9 16th Street Atlanta, GA 30363404.870.0230 – phone 404.870.0240 – fax

Big Brothers Big Sisters
100 Edgewood Ave NE # 710, Atlanta
(404) 527-7600
www.bbbsatl.org
Another Way Out, Inc.
1180 Utoy Springs Rd. Atlanta,Georgia 30331Office: 404-349-4712 Fax: 404-349-4838
Nydia Bright, Program Coordinatoremail: awoinc@mindspring.com

Atlanta Youth Coalition
Dominic Stokes
(678) 438 5051


It was interesting to me that virtually every caller had at least four children, the dad was not actively involved, the mom was working and the child was 13-14 years old. Look around. Find a child. Lend a hand. We can all do something to help.

And then, we need to have the difficult discussion about deciding to become a parent. If he already has kids he is not supporting, don't get pregnant. If you are a teen-ager, don't get pregnant. If you already have two or more children and no committed mate, don't get pregnant. If you are already having a hard time making ends meet, don’t get pregnant. If you have not finished high school - don’t get pregnant. If you are single, two kids are probably enough. Birth control is more effective, cheap and available than ever.

Take a hard look at marriage. Men who make the commitment of marriage are generally better fathers and pay child support at a much higher rate even when the marriage does not work out. 70% of black children are born out of wedlock. Moms may not want/need a husband, but children need committed dads. Girls need dads as much as boys do. As the discussion on Monday graphically revealed, rebellion just after puberty is typical - not extraordinary. The question is how do we marshal sufficient resources to deal with this natural phenomenon?